Boob-Boards And Other Revelations
Special inspo-heavy edition
What’s up, Weehawken? There’s so much to get to… and it will all make sense, we promise.
Searching For Signs: And Finding Them
OK so remember way back in May, when the Weehawken Gazette lead story was our “wall of nothingness” and our dream of a community billboard at Tower Plaza? For those that missed it/don’t remember, it’s here: Local Celebs & A Big Idea. The only update on the wall of nothingness, is that the managers of Tower Plaza have no plans for it, and neighbors noticed the wall is covered in dirt, but upon closer inspection a clever person with a family connection to a laundry biz said that the “dirt” is in fact, probably dryer lint.
Then, skip ahead a few issues and we shared an update: many readers mentioned that a board exists inside Lidl, and that board says it will have news of the nabe, but it had NOTHING on it. Direct link to that is here: Mysterious Board Mystifies.
As you see above, the mysterious board is now asking questions. People sent us photos of it starting in August. So far, the question is not answered. But please update us if you see anything, we haven’t been back in at least a week.
Weehawken Town Hall’s Boob-Board Commands Big Bucks
Behold the billboard above! A mighty electrified petrified metal redwood that seems to spring from the soil of the parking lot at Weehawken Town Hall. It has a message of hope for us. It tells us… well, right now, it tells us there’s hope that our breasts can be smaller, thanks to insurance, and people with knives. Fine print says it might not be covered by insurance, but who can read fine print when you’re zooming by, dreaming of smaller ta tas?
We will get to the numbers, but first, did you know that four states do not allow billboards? Yup, in Maine, Vermont, Alaska and Hawaii billboards are illegal. This is not a new thing. And though we think of Vermont as “progressive” Hawaii got to it first, in 1927, with the others coming to it from 1959 (Alaska) —1977 (Maine). Vermont was 1968… appropriate in our mind for such a hippie state.
Anyway, a 2019 study out of Australia found “emerging” evidence that “roadside advertising can increase crash risk, particularly for those signs that have the capacity to frequently change (often referred to as digital billboards).”
Scenic America has a fascinating fact sheet about billboards with many fun facts and for sure it seems that if you like light pollution, or you want your home value to go down, billboards may be awesome.
There are many billboards in Weehawken, the ones that are dynamic “digital bulletins” and static ones, as you see here, called bulletins or posters.
So how much did this surgeon pay? We called for a quote and were told this was the most expensive in their Weehawken inventory: if you want a boob-board ad it’s $115,000 for a 4-week run in this location. Oh and it’s cheaper if it’s a non-profit, but we don’t know by how much. But when’s the last time you ever saw a non-profit on a Weehawken billboard? For sure it’s never to almost never.
Poll: Is She Before Or After?
From energy use (it’s a lot) to visual pollution (subjective) to safety (ask the Aussie’s) we are not here to pass judgment on the dangers this board may or may not pose.
The real problem with this billboard: we can’t figure out if she’s before, or after. Is she happy because she’s getting her breasts reduced soon, or happy because they were already reduced? It’s something we debate fiercely.
We don’t know the answer, but you can help. To get you ready for Election Day, go ahead and vote in the Weehawken Gazette’s first-ever poll…
Speaking of Election Day if you aren’t registered to vote, and you live in NJ, you can do that here: https://nj.gov/state/elections/voter-registration.shtml
Oh or locally, September 17th is National Voter Registration Day and thanks to the neighbor who just sent word of this event happening in Weehawken at Lidl:
Who Benefits From Billboards Besides The Advertiser?
No idea. Does anyone know how much our town gets from the billboards? We don’t. A hope and dream is that the money from the billboards can flow down to the area beneath the 495 bridges… cleaning up the bird poo and lighting them up with… lights that are site specific art. They do it in Chicago and many other places now.
What about the ones Apple puts above the tunnel? Those are not administered by the same company as the boob-board one. Does Port Authority get most/all of the dough? If we wanted to remove any of our billboards, or have some better art on them, would that be possible?
If anyone knows the answers to our burning billboard questions, enlighten us.
Fun fact: most local billboards we looked into are illuminated 24-hours a day. The exception we know about: the one at 19th and Willow is only illuminated 18 hours a day so neighbors can get a good 6 hours of sleep? We don’t know.
🥂The Weehawken Museum Of Fine Art
“Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls… come with me and you’ll be in a world of pure imagination.” —Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory
Strange but true: The finest fine art gallery is now officially open for business, but it also has been open for business for many years. It’s also the only art gallery in town.
Yes, we say that Best Liquors, in Tower Plaza, is a fine art museum. It’s nearly as magical as the parrots of Edgewater. It’s the creation of the woman, Lee, who is usually behind the counter, and we’ve loved it for years. She is an artist who weaves found objects and toys into one-of-a-kind creations that inspire. It’s where we first saw mermaids in Weehawken, and as many of us know, the mermaids of the Hudson are 100% real.*
Now this art gallery is not a new thing. We’ve been telling people for more than a decade that it’s an art gallery and our only art gallery. It’s beautiful and worthy, but now we say it outside of the friend circle, and we are going bigger to elevate it beyond gallery to museum. It is a shrine to creation, it is great art, and like pieces at The Met or the Guggenheim, the art is not for sale.
The liquor is for sale, and it’s the best liquor store in town, hence the name: Best Liquors. And like chocolate, it’s a substance that can be dangerous if abused. That said, you can chocolate and drive. Drink and drive? No, don’t ever do that.
Anyway, if you want to indulge your senses and get inspired, visit Best Liquors in Weehawken. For as the song says, if you want to see paradise, simply look around and view it. Like any museum, it has hours. According to Google (which is often wrong, so double check) it’s open everyday from 1-9PM. Here’s the skinny:
The Weehawken Museum of Fine Art a/k/a Best Liquors
4100 Park Ave #12
Open 7 Days
Admission: Free
Note: We dubbed this a “museum of art” without even talking to the owner. To be clear: it’s a liquor store… it is filled with glass bottles and dangerous substances. We don’t even know if kids are welcome, so we’d ask first, because just like in a chocolate factory — this is a place where children must be supervised. Cheers.
PS If you didn’t know, the Weehawken Library has free passes and discounted admission to some great known museums so hit them up. From their Sept flier:
Free passes to Storm King Sculpture Park, The Frick Collection, The Guggenheim, the Children’s Museum of Manhattan and The Newark Museum are available to Adult Weehawken residents with a valid Library Card. For further Information and to obtain a pass, stop by the Library’s Second Floor Desk.
Passes to the American Museum of Natural History are available at a discounted price for Weehawken residents.
See You In September? Sept 20 To Be Exact?
Weehawken Elks pub, September 20 at 6P: Emmy-award winning writer Eric Drysdale brings his acclaimed 3-D photo experience to Weehawken for one night only. Only 14 tix will be sold! Update: there are only two tickets left. It’s $50. Adults 21+. Snag the last ones now on Eventbrite: MIDCENTURY STEREOPANORAMA - See the 1950s IN AMAZING 3-D
Can’t make that? No problem… As that finishes up there’s another event the same eve… Weehawken Elks pub, September 20 at 8P: September social! No cover. Adults 21+. Come join us for a night of fun and socializing! Cash Bar, Pool Table, Darts & Neighbors.
In Brief
🏕️Weehawken Boy Scouts Troop 223 says: Spring Registration is Open for Boy Scouts (grades 5 & up)! From taking his first hike to catching his first fish to cooking over a campfire that he made, Boy Scouts Troop 223 has been an amazing experience for our son...and for us as parents too! Visit the troop's website to get started: troop223weehawken.com
🏃♀️🏃♀️Weehawken Girls X-Country Team: For the first time in program history, Weehawken varsity girls have won an invitational. Source: Weehawken School District on Facebook
🎭 Broadway Night at the High School was last week and neighbors who went said it was AMAZINGLY GOOD and that everyone should know about it. It was maybe the 2nd year? Shout out to the WHS administration for supporting/making it happen, and let’s pack the house next year.
👙Weehawken Pool news: apparently the last day is Sunday. And it’s not open Saturday the 14th, because it’s Weehawken Day, which to many of our kids is the best day of the year, especially as it was rained out the last two years. Per the email from the town: Lap Swim from 7am - 9am; Regular Swim Session from 10am to 6pm.
Private to Weehawken Pool: Je t'aime
Just when you think you know it all… This beautiful photo and caption from Gary Hershorn taught us something we didn’t know about the construction of the Oculus:
The Oculus transit hub was positioned to create a "Way of Light" at precisely 1028am, the time when the second WTC tower collapsed in New York City. Wednesday morning's sunshine allowed for the pathway to form.
Got Q’s? Corrections? Wanna Advertise?
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Tah for now nice nabes!
Susie
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PPS Thanks to all the people who’ve given us great feedback about the newsletter. Every time we hear someone tell us that it helped them discover something or entertained them, it makes us happy.
*Mermaids, here, in Weehawken? Yes. IYKYK.
And Finally: Remembering 9/11
We were in downtown Manhattan that day. It’s still hard to find any words, but we will never forget. We remember anyone and everyone who loved and lost that day.
Another excellent issue. Thank you! The writing is on the wall.