Everything Is Awful
'Tis the season of despair; here's how to enjoy it a hair. Plus news of the Weehawken pool bubble!
NoHu, We Love You
Sorry for the pessimistic headline on this edition, but the grey days and the relentlessly depressing news have gotten us down. As we reported last time, The Jersey Journal is now dead and gone both in print and online. And The Star-Ledger formerly New Jersey’s largest newspaper—is now online only. There’s a very good article about this here in the New York Times by Tracey Tully, who, fun fact, got her start writing about Weehawken for the Hudson Reporter in the 90s.
Anyway, we’re gonna soldier on and try to bring you the best of what’s super-local right now, even though, gonna be honest, going outside isn’t that enjoyable these days. But we promise there’ll be promising news below. Let’s start this, shall we?
Super Secret Weehawken Pub Opens
Now for some feel-good news you can use if you are 21+ and into the idea of seeing people in person. Are you looking for community? A place to talk to humans, and maybe play pool and darts? Spin some tunes on a digital jukebox? Do you like cheap drinks? If you answered “yes” to any of the above, then you should know that the Weehawken Elks downstairs pub is now open on Friday nights—and Friday nights only—starting at 7P. Note that they only take cash, but also that the drinks are the cheapest around. And on the flyer they call it the “grill room” but some people are trying to rebrand it the “lounge under the lodge.” Whatever you call it is fine by us. The pub/grill room/lounge is right on Boulevard East at 50th street and it actually has free parking—just make sure you have a designated driver, natch.
Hoboken Not Safe? Boulder Dash!
Hoboken is renowned for its music, but this is a different kind of rock and roll — Hoboken Patch is reporting there’s a stretch of Sinatra Drive that’s got a wee falling rock problem. Find out where it is right here, or just look up and be ready to run. Fun fact: the current falling rock zone is right where the latest—and greatest—parking spot-eating sinkhole formed in June 2024. Now that we’ve harshed on Hoboken, we gotta give it, and Hudson County, some props for tackling their under-bridge bird poo problem, even in the middle of winter. Weehawken, please take note!
Weehawken Pool Bubble Set For Test Run
The Weehawken pool is the coolest thing since sliced bread. Oh forget that—it’s cooler. Why? Well sliced bread can’t get you fit, get you vitamin D, and make you feel you are on a tropical isle chatting with neighbors and enjoying the caresses of the stiff Hudson River breezes. Yeah, we are cracked out on our love for the pool.
And the work that people see happening down by the waterfront is indeed the set-up for what will eventually be a bubble covering the lap pool, so that we can enjoy an extended—and maybe year-round—season. When is it coming? Well according to representatives from the town, work was delayed due to the cold, but on 2/3 at the town hall meeting they said a test bubble is on track to be set up in March, possibly. It would then be taken down around about May, in time for the regular season. If all goes right, we might really and truly have the bubble for next fall. We have no idea exactly what it will look like, but we used AI to imagine it for us, and it made us laugh. So before we move on, here’s another AI-generated image of a woman enjoying the Weehawken pool bubble:
Paramus Peeved At American Dream?
There’s a great article in the Record this weekend (linked below) about the history of blue laws in America and how they have been repealed all over New Jersey — except in Bergen County. These laws, which had their start in the 1700s, are a Puritan hangover, but they’ve stuck around even after repealing them was put to a vote in 1993. And the law of the land is patchy, because apparently what can and can’t be sold is currently decided at the town level. Walk into Mitsuwa marketplace on a Sunday and you can enjoy the food court, buy groceries, but the aisle with the appliances is cordoned off. At least, that was the case the last time we went.
It’s not just an interesting question, but it’s in the news; that same article reported that officials in Paramus are “considering legal action against American Dream” because they feel the mall is “violating the county’s blue laws by allowing retail stores to operate on Sundays.”
Anyway, if you want to learn a thing or two about why ye olde religious zeal means you can’t always buy a rice cooker in Edgewater, NJ — the article is linked below.
Why does Bergen County cling to blue laws? Is the practice, established in 1704, outdated? —By David M. Zimmer with additional reporting by Stephanie Noda and Daniel Munoz
Weeward Season Is Here
Is there a local business that deserves some love? We have our favorites but want to expand our reach. Like, we have a favorite trad takeout pizza place—Fabiano’s—but our faves are unreliable, because there’s way too many places we haven’t tried. For example, people swear by Enzo Bruni La Pizza Gourmet in West New York, especially if eating in the restaurant. We’ve pocketed the rec, but have yet to go, even though we swear we’re gonna make it someday every time we pass.
If you have a favorite local anything—send us a nomination. Can you nominate your own business? Yes. Why the heck not. Email: tips@bignoyes.com
Oh, when are the Weewards? Well, they are highly-prized and given out on a semi-annual highly-occasional basis when the moon is full deep in the Weehawken woods and/or there’s a live show in Weehawken. The first-ever Weeward is shown above and the owner did not bribe us for it, nor did they pay for it. That said, we are now accepting sponsors so if you want to show off your business hit up advertising@bignoyes.com
Why is it that…
People seem to think picking up 💩 is optional in winter? Is there a poop bag shortage? Don’t think so. But every winter certain dog owners seem to slip into a haze of not bothering to pick up after their dogs. Is it because neighbors aren’t outside to see them do it? It makes all us dog owners look like suspects. It’s super depressing, especially when you now have to dodge both poop and ice on the sidewalks. We’d ask all of you to please pick up after your dogs, but we are convinced all Weehawken Gazette readers are smarter, better-looking, and more community-minded than the general population, and so we have no need to implore y’all. It’s not just our hunch this is happening. This week we saw neighbors are now putting up signs on trees threatening to call the police on those they deem aren’t picking up after their pets. Would the police respond to a call like this? We thought of calling the police to ask if they’d respond, but then thought: what’s kookier than taping photos of dog poop non-picker upper suspects to trees with threats? Actually calling the police to ask them if they’d respond.
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Susie Felber
Weehawken Gazette
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Weehawken, NJ 07086
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Tah for now nice nabes!
Susie
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